Shattered
by Unleashed From Within
Summary: Can John forgive Mark for what he did? Like always my summary sucks, but the story is good.


**Summary:** Can John forgive Mark for what his did.

**Characters:** John Cena, Mark 'Undertaker' Calloway and a small cameo by Shawn Michaels .

**Disclaimer: **Any images, names, or content used in this fanfic that's related with the WWE is property of World Wrestling Entertainment and the McMahon's. So please don't sue me.

**Note: **The song is 'Shattered' by Backstreet Boys. I not own the song or the Boys so please don't sue me.

_So empty can't feel more_

_As I'm left with my tears on the floor _

_Wait for my heart to mend _

_But you keep tearing a hole_

"I can't believe I lost." John Cena mumbled to himself as he headed back to his locker room after a painful and embarrassing loss to Sheamus. After going through a table from the top turnbuckle him back was killing him. It felt like it was on fire.

"Hey John." John heard someone say behind him. He turned slowly to see Shawn Michaels walking up behind him.

"Hey Shawn."

"Sorry about your loss." Shawn said as he placed a hand on John's shoulder.

"Thanks Shawn." John said as he tensed as a wave of pain went through his body.

"Are you okay?" Shawn ask as a look of concern wash over his face.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just have a little pain in my back. Nothing serious."

"Are you sure it a little pain?"

"Yeah it's nothing that a ice and some sleep can't handle. I'll be fine.

"Are you sure? Most of the guys already left I could hang around here and wait until you're ready to leave."

"No. I'm fine Shawn. You can leave."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Go ahead."

"Okay. . . well I'll see you later then." Shawn said before headed back down the hall.

"See ya Shawn." John said as he turned around and continued to make his way to his locker room.

"Dammit." John said as he remembered he left his dog tags at ringside. He looked down the hall hoping Shawn was still out there and would go retrieve the tags from ringside. But his hope quickly faded when he didn't see Shawn or any one else standing in the hall. "Damn." He said as he open the door to his locker room.

When John walked into his locker room, he expected the room to be empty. He didn't expect to see the person he wished he'd never met.

_Inside I'm so lost _

_In the middle of my heart _

_Is a battlefield of love _

_I've been fighting far too long_

"What the hell are you doing here?" John said as his body tense with anger.

"I came to see you Felix." The deep voice of Mark 'Undertaker' Calloway said. Mark was shock when he saw John. The passionate love and strength that use to burn in his eyes were replaced by bitter hatred and sadness. The breath taking smile that use to adore his face was now a bile frown. And the laugh that made you laugh too, was replace by bitter, uncaring words.

John was more pissed off than shocked when he saw his ex-boyfriend standing there. And only having Mark call him by his middle name pissed him off even more."I don't want to see you. So you can get the fuck out."

"I came all this way to see you all you can say is get the fuck out. What happened to you Felix? You use to be nicer."

"And you use to be someone I cared about." John said as he close the door and stared at Mark with hate in his eyes.

"Come on Felix I..."

"Don't call me Felix. You lost the right to call me that when you left me." John said as he walked over to his bags and grabbed a clean shirt out before tossing his things back in it, but stop when he saw the letter Mark wrote to him a few months back.

Mark took a deep breath before continuing. "John, I had no choice. I had to leave you."

"You had a choice you were just too much of a coward to choose me. And you were too much of a coward to tell me to my face that you were leaving." John said through clenched teeth as he put his shirt on and turned to face Mark with the letter still in his hand. "Here."

"Is that the letter I gave you?"

"Yeah. You can have it back. I don't want it or needed it." John said as he handed Mark the letter.

Mark reached out and took the letter from John. "Why didn't you open it?"

"I didn't need to. I knew what you wrote without even looking at it."

"John, I wrote you a letter because I didn't know how to tell you face to face." Mark said as he stared at the unopen letter.

"Did you even try to?"

"John I. . ."

"Did you try?!" John yelled.

"No . . . No I didn't."

"So why are you trying to do it now?"

"Because . . . Because I feel like I should."

"Keep your lame excuses to yourself because I don't need them just like I don't need you."

"John will you just listen to me for one fucking second." Mark said as he tried not to yell.

"There's nothing you can say that will fix this. . .fix us." John said as he sat in one of the two chairs in the room.

"John, please just listen to me."

John gave Mark a glare that could melt ice before but he crossed his arms over his chest and waited for Mark to continue.

"I left you because my kids need me."

"Are you serious? Don't give me that lame ass excuse."

"It's not an excuse. My kids need me and I never put anyone above my kids including you."

"I never ask you to put me above your kids. All I ask was for you to put me above you're ex-wife." John yelled as all the anger he had bottled up for Mark was slowing spilling out.

"John, Sara needed me as much as my kids needed me."

"Sara doesn't need you. Sara doesn't give a damn about you. I'll be shocked if she ever did." John yelled as he stood back up. He wanted to slap the other man but he knew better then that because 1.) Mark could kick his ass. And 2.) Mark could kick his ass.

"You're wrong John."

"No, I'm not. Where was she when you were sick with the flu? Where was she when you were injured?"

"She couldn't drop everything she was doing just to come and take care of me."

"I did!" John yelled. "I nearly lost my job because I skipped so many events that I needed to be at but it didn't care. My job didn't mean a damn thing to me if you were sick or injured."

"I didn't tell you skip all those thing and I didn't tell you to take care of me."

"You're right you didn't tell me to skip anything. It was stupid of me to do that and it was stupid of me to think I was in a relationship with someone that I though loved me."

"Why do you have to be so fucking difficult?" Mark yelled.

"If I'm so difficult why are you here?"

Mark took in a deep breath before slowly letting it out. "I still consider you a friend and a important person in my life. So I felt I should tell you face to face that Sara and I are getting married again. And I would be grateful if you would come to the wedding." Mark said as he pulled an invitation out of the inside pocket of his leather coat and held it out for John to take.

John looked at Mark with bitter hate before walking past him and out the locker room.

_And now I'm shattered_

_From the chip in my heart, kept taking 'til it broke_

_Oh how it hurts _

_Felt it slip from your hand _

_Hit the ground and now its shattered _

_I'm so shattered _

_(Can't believe it was me, I'm so shattered)_

_So Shattered_

_(Can't believe you hurt me, I. . .)_

_So shattered_

_(Can't believe you left me, I'm so shattered)_

_Shattered cut from with-inside_

"John!" Mark called as he walked out the room after John. "John did you hear what I said?" Mark as he caught up to John and grabbed his arm, turning John around to face him.

"I heard what you said. Are you out of your damn mind?" John yelled as shoved Mark away. "Do you really think I am going to show up to your wedding and watch you marry that bitch?"

"Watch your mouth John." Mark yelled.

"Or what you can't hurt any more than you already have. So you can take that invitation and shove it up your ass. Stay the hell away from me." John said as he turned around and walked away from Mark.

_What am I still here for _

_Could it be I'm just waiting _

_Hoping you rescue me _

_And put the pieces together again_

_Inside I'm so lost _

_In the middle of my heart _

_Is a battlefield of love _

_I've been fighting far too long_

As John walked down the hall he only saw a few backstage workers as he heading towards the entrance ramp. He walked down the ramp and around the still assembled wrestling ring to claim his dog tags that were sitting on the commentators table.

"It's amazing." Mark said from behind John.

"What's amazing?" John said as he turned around to see Mark standing in the middle of the ring.

"How fast these arenas clear out. Less than fifteen minutes ago this place was filled with thousands of people."

A small smile grace John face as he remember Mark said the same thing four years ago before he ask him out on a date. But as quick as the smile appeared it was gone. "Yeah fuckin'amazing." John said as he started to walk away from the ring.

"Wait."

"What Mark?"

"Get in here with me."

"Why?"

"Just humor me okay."

John stared at the ring before slipping his tags around him neck and climbing in the ring of the ring. "Okay I'm in. What do you want?"

"John, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. I shouldn't have ask you to come to my wedding. I guess it wasn't one of my brightest ideas."

John took a deep breath as he listened to Mark talk. He couldn't believe Mark was going to marry Sara again. After their last marriage together end so badly John thought Mark would never talk to her again. He couldn't understand why how Mark could put himself through that again, or even why.

_And now I'm shattered_

_From the chip in my heart, kept taking 'til it broke_

_Oh how it hurts _

_Felt it slip from your hand _

_Hit the ground and now its shattered _

_I'm so shattered _

_(Can't believe it was me, I'm so shattered)_

_So Shattered_

_(Can't believe you hurt me, I. . .)_

_So shattered_

_(Can't believe you left me, I'm so shattered)_

_Shattered cut from with-inside_

"Sorry? Sorry isn't going to. . ."

"I know sorry isn't going to change what I did. Nothing I say is going to change what I did."

"Yeah your right. Nothing you say is going to change what you did. Nothing you say is going to change what I went through or how I feel about you." John said as he stared at Mark. "But there is one thing I need to know."

"What?"

"Did she know?"

"Did she know what?"

"Did Sara know about me and you? Did she know for the past four years you was my everything?" John said as he as a part of him wished his did just asks that. Because he wasn't sure if he was going to like the answer.

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah it matters."

"She knew I was close to you but she didn't know we were more than friends."

"Are you serious? How could she not know? Your kids know and they tell everything." John yelled.

"I told them not to tell."

"Why would you do that?"

"I just didn't want them to tell her."

"Why? Does she know you're bi?"

"She knows."

"So why wouldn't..." John stop talking as he realize why Mark didn't tell Sara about what they had. "Oh I see."

_Tell me what you're really here for _

_If you never really loved me _

_I gave my all but it still wasn't enough _

'_Cause all you have to say is you ain't looking for commitment_

_Instead of telling me what I wanted to hear_

_You took my emotions and scattered them on the ground_

_So hard to just pick up and move on with life again_

"You see what John?" Mark said. He was getting completely pissed off with the way John was acting. But he couldn't blame John for being mad at him after everything that happened between them, he had every right to be.

"You didn't tell her because our relationship wasn't. . . I wasn't important enough for you to tell her about." John said as he felt his heart breaking.

"What! That I load of bull. You know you was...are and will always be important to me. And as far as our relationship goes it was one of the best things that has ever happened to me."

"Now that's a load of bull." John said with a bitter laugh.

"No it not." Mark said as he grabbed a hold of John's arm. "If you believe it or not I still love you. I still think about you everyday." Mark said as he pulled John a little closer to him.

John stared into Mark's eyes and let out a slow breath as he realized how close they were. John's eyes drifted from Mark's eyes to his lips and back up as he waited for the next move.

Mark rested one of his hands on John's hip and the other on John's cheek. Mark smile as John sucked in a deep breath and closed his eye's. Mark leaned in and lightly touched his lip to John's. Satisfied that he got a small moan out of John, he deepen their kiss.

_And now I'm shattered_

_From the chip in my heart, kept taking 'til it broke_

_Oh how it hurts _

_\ Felt it slip from your hand _

_Hit the ground and now its shattered _

_I'm so shattered _

_(Can't believe it was me, I'm so shattered)_

_So Shattered_

_(Can't believe you hurt me, I. . .)_

_So shattered_

_(Can't believe you left me, I'm so shattered)_

_Shattered cut from with-inside_

John pulled away when he felt their kiss deepen. "I can't do this." John said as he back away from Mark, ignoring the sad look on Mark's face. "What we just did can and will never happen again."

"John." Mark said as he reach for John but John step back a few more inches.

"Being so close to makes me want you more and more. But I can never be with you ever again." John said he angrily wipe away a single tear. "I am only going to say this once okay. If we are not working in a match together or on a storyline. I don't want you near me. Talking to you and being around you only brings me more heartache and pain. So just. . .just stay away from me."

Before Mark could response John climbed out the the ring. He glance one more time at Mark before turning and walking back up the entrance ramp.

"John wait! You can't be serious. John!" Mark watch as John walked up the ramp and disappeared backstage. He knew he just lost one of the most important person in his life and nothing he could do would bring back what he had. He knew the love he have for Sara could not compare to the love he have and will always have for John.

Mark realize as he climbed out the ring all the thing he could never again have with John. He knew he made a mistake by going back to Sara but it was a mistake he would have to live with.

_I'm so shattered _

_I can't believe you left me so shattered _

End!!!!

Well that's it. How did ya'll like it?

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